The Confused
EPISODE 1
Looking out through the window into the dark, she could see the stars giving light to the dark world, the few houses who had their bulbs on gave more light to the environment. Apart from the chirping sound of the crickets. She could hear little to nothing from the outside world but the noise within was killing her. An earthquake was going on within her. Her mind was giving her the toughest challenge she could ever think of. A battle that seemed endless was going on within her. Questions and thoughts were popping up and she was trying to defend herself from each one. Hiurrrrrrruuuuu wiuuuuuwuuu, she could hear around her ears, obviously coming from mosquitoes. She shook her head and waved her left hand around her left ear, in a bid to drive the mosquitoes away. Her attention was once again shifted to the window. Then the next thought came up.
“Tessy you should have time for your children, you leave this children every morning and only force them awake at night to eat because they always sleep before you come back”.
Who then would provide food for the children and I? She defended herself.
Its Johnson’s fault! If only he can go out like other men and provide for us I shouldn’t be going through all these.
Johnson is just wicked, that is the issue. Since when has it become my duty to provide for my children. He does chores, yes but why can’t he also go out there and hustle like other men? What chores am I even talking about? The one he does as if he is granting me a favour? Every evening he goes to Razz man’s bar, sits and look for who would give him free drink and he would argue about politics for hours as if they are paying him salary for being the best in the argument. Men who go out to hustle for their families enter their homes before he does. She said to herself.
Then she remembered her mother. “Marry Ben so that I would not die hungry my child. Your father died when I was still pregnant for you and I had to raise you and your siblings single handed. Your only brother travelled to Europe 6 years ago and we have not heard from him till now, I don’t know if he is still alive now or if he is dead. Your only sister is married to a village teacher who can barely feed himself let alone feeding her. Now that Ben has asked for your hand in marriage, grab this opportunity so that we can have a better life.” She remembered all her mother did to make her marry Ben but she never loved him. So she couldn’t marry him.
And who told my mother that Ben’s wife is the happiest woman on earth now? She defended. Ben is a beast when offended. He has anger disorder and he also feels that money can buy everything. I am also not a very patient person. So Ben and I would really break our heads some day if put together in the same house.
She moved her gaze from the street to the floor of her one room bedroom to kill mosquitoes feasting on her children’s body. As she tapped Anita’s body crushing the tiny creature enjoying its life. Anita sprang up to her feet asking what the matter was. She knew Anita would wake up at the slightest touch. She had taken after her. She smiled as she got up and said “like mother like daughter” go back to sleep my baby, I only killed the mosquito feasting on you. My baby, why is it that you don’t like using the mosquito net I got for you people? You know these your brothers are very careless about things like that, your twin sister who always does that is very sick. So why is it that you won’t make effort to see that you put the net before sleeping?
Anita: mummy I don’t like using that net. You know I sweat a lot and I always feel like am in hell whenever I use it. I prefer mosquito bites to net.
Tessy: Anny baby, mosquitoes cause malaria. It’s better you use mosquito net than for you to fall sick.
Anita: mummy, why don’t you get fan for us?
Tessy: Anny, there is no light here. We cannot use fan without electricity.
Anita: Then pay the electricity bill mummy. Daddy said we don’t have light because we haven’t paid the bill. Stella and Jumoke our neighbors have light. Why is ours different?
Tessy: Anny baby, this is midnight. Everyone else is asleep. Let’s not wake your daddy and siblings up. We would talk about this some other time, okay?
Anita: mummy you are rarely around. So when am I going to see you to talk about it?
Tessy: Anny, please go to bed. We would talk about this later.
Anita: But mum……
Tessy: no Anita! Go to bed! Its late, you would soon get up to go to school.
Anita: alright mummy. What about you? Don’t you want to sleep?
Tessy: Anita, I will sleep as soon as you do. Please go to bed.
Anita: alright mummy.
(She hugs her daughter dearly and Anny bends down to lie down).
To be continued